Surprisingly the Mighty Ducks isn’t just a name of a mediocre teen movie. Really we shouldn’t give teams with an odd name that much guff, since we can all agree that there are too many Tigers, Lions, and Sharks. If you’re coming up with a team name, it needs to be unique if you’re going to have a fan base not consisting of just your player’s families. But there are some teams that have taken that quest for uniqueness too far. Way, way too far. Today we’re going to look at 15 teams with the most ridiculous of names.
1. UC Santa Cruz Banana Slugs
From the movie Pulp Fiction (the movie with the most utterances of the F-word than any other movie), we get the team name Banana Slugs. Vincent wears a shirt proudly proclaiming The UC Santa Cruz Banana Slugs during the car cleaning scene.
What’s interesting it’s a real team! Banana Slugs are real too, of course, and might just be the ugliest little slug you ever did see.
2. Montreal Alouettes
So unless you’re from Canada or you’re five years old, you probably don’t even know how to say Alouette. The Montreal Alouettes is a Canadian Football team (close to American Football, but with a few extra players and a longer field).
The team is named after a lark. And by lark we mean bird, not the other thing. We’re trying to decide whether or not we should make fun of their mascot being a silly bird or the fact that the championship they play for is called the Grey Cup. Imagination much?
3. Montgomery Biscuits
So we’ll try not to offend anyone, but we all know how folks from the southern parts of the USA like their fried foods and biscuits. It is part of their culture. Kind of like the French and cheese. Or the Cookie Monster and his cookies.
So it should only be common sense that they named a team the Biscuits. The AA affiliate (baseball if you don’t know) of the Tampa Bay Rays are located in Montgomery Alabama, and are named appropriately, The Biscuits. Their logo, placed above, is kind of hilarious.
4. St. Louis College of Pharmacy Eutectics
So we don’t really know what to say about this one. The St. Louis College of Pharmacy is a school like any other specialty school. But what can you name a team full of pharmacists? The Eutectics is what they chose.
Now technically without the team, the Eutectics wouldn’t even be a thing. It’s a concept of pharmacology and chemistry. We’re not nearly smart enough to know what it actually is, but that is what they decided to call their team. Not exactly something the crowd can chant. While astonishingly unique, it’s something only the players can love.
5. Butte Pirates
This one made us giggle. Now before you get all angsty, we know that Butte isn’t pronounced how it looks. We KNOW that. But still. (Pardon the pun). It does look like that and it is funny no matter what their fans say.
The Butte Pirates is the name of a high school. It might seem prudent for the school to change their name, as you can bet that the students of said high school have a lot of fun with their team mascot. But apparently it works for them. So while they cheer for their sports teams (Go Butte Pirates!), we’ll sit on the sidelines and continue to giggle like the immature little weasels we are.
6. Thailand Tobacco Monopoly
We love teams that are honest. Wouldn’t it be more honest if instead of naming stadiums in the US, the teams themselves took on the companies’ name? In Thailand, a team has done just that. The Fightin Thailand Tobacco Monopolies is a soccer team (or for the rest of the world, Futbol, Football), that literally named itself after one of the country’s premier industries.
The actual monopoly is a real thing that has caused a ton of problems over the last few centuries. The name of the team is another that makes it kind of hard to not only chant the name, but what is their mascot? Perhaps a lit cigarette, or a pile of green tobacco leaves? It isn’t the best name for a team is all we’re saying.
7. Utah Jazz
When we think of things that come from Utah, we think potatoes. No, wait, that’s Idaho. Uh, Utah…Utah. What the heck comes from Utah? We don’t know. One thing that apparently does come from Utah is the Utah Jazz. The Jazz are an NBA basketball team, and practically the only professional sports team in the entire state.
The name is left over from when the team resided in the Big Easy (New Orleans for the rest of us). Instead of changing the name, they kept it only adding the Utah in front. Seams simple, but still seems quite odd. Oh! Mormons. They come from Utah. That’s right. Now at least we have that figured out. Go Jazz!
8. Wichita State University Shockers
When you name a team, you should probably choose a name that everyone knows. Or at least is known for what it truly is, and not a crude sex slang term. The Shockers of Wichita State are named after the term shocking which is what you do to wheat when harvesting it. It is also, apparently for those of you who didn’t know, a term used for a sexual experience.
Apparently the school knows exactly what it means as they designed their mascot to have fingers that look like he’s performing that sex act. Don’t know if they’re being crude, or if they just didn’t know at the time. Either way, not what you’d expect from a college team name.
9. Scottsdale Community College Artichokes
You wouldn’t think you’d want a team name where any part of the name had the word ‘choke’ in it. But the Fightin Artichokes think differently, apparently. The Scottsdale (Arizona) Community College Fightin Artichokes. Now there is a mouth-full.
The team name derives from one of the states crops, but it isn’t really a team name, right? You want a team name to inspire fear in your opponents in and blind loyalty in your fans. Artichokes don’t really do that for us. But then again, it isn’t as embarrassing as the Butte Pirates.
10. Rhode Island School of Design Nads
The Rhode Island School of Design is very famous when it comes to design. It has given us such names as Seth MacFarlane (creator of Family Guy). It also has a great team name, The Nads! We’re not sure where they got such a name, but there you go.
Now as it is, it isn’t too bad. It isn’t until you hear their fans chant Go Nads! that it becomes apparent where the problem lays. Gonads. Go Nads! get it? Yeah.
11. Long Beach State Dirtbags
Dirtbags. There is a team named the dirtbags. The Long Beach State Dirtbags come from Southern California, much like our beloved Banana Slugs.
Now usually you’d think that being called a dirtbag would be a bad thing, right? It’d be like calling your sports franchise the Bank Robbers or the Cat Burglars. It just seems like it isn’t such a great thing to call a team. But in reality it isn’t so bad. The term actually started off benign before it became a Hollywood catchphrase for bad guys. It was a scrappy play in baseball that meant the players weren’t afraid of sliding to the next base.
12. New York Red Bulls
Soccer isn’t as big in the USA as it is everywhere else in the world. The Yanks have pretty much settled on American Football and Baseball as their premier sports. However Soccer is gaining traction, and there are some pretty great teams. Like soccer in the rest of the world, it’s pretty commercialized. The New York Red Bulls are actually named after the energy drink.
Now it seems pretty short sighted if you ask us. What happens if the drink changes it’s name in a few years or the company decides it doesn’t want it’s name on a mediocre soccer team? Then they’d have a whole host of problems, the least of which would be changing their names.
13. Hokkaido Nippon Ham Fighters
The Hokkaido Nippon Ham Fighters are a Japanese baseball team. They are sponsored by the country’s leading producers of ham. It could only be worse if they were sponsored by Spam. Seriously people? The Ham fighters? That has to be some sort of translation error, right?
Apparently no. It’s not. They are named after a ham company. How do you fight a ham? Is that like a pig fight? Just you and a pig in a ring somewhere going at it with fists and hooves. Go ahead. Laugh. We did.
14. Albuquerque Isotopes
The Albuquerque Isotopes is a name of a AAA Baseball team. The name is interesting because it shares a name with the Springfield Isotopes which came from the Simpsons, which is the longest running TV show and quite funny if you’ve never seen it.
Still, while not the greatest name in the world, the Isotopes are named after certain elements and it isn’t exactly the easy to chant. But then again, if you’re an Isotopes fan you might get bonus IQ points if you know what an isotope is.
15. Washington Redskins
This name isn’t so much ridiculous as it is offensive. In this day and age it just isn’t okay to use this type of name for a team. Every racial group has this sort of name that is used to degrade them (which we won’t name here), but this is a national American Football franchise using and advertising it.
There have been debates for almost 50 years about the name, and it resulted recently in the reversal of the trademark the team has held for several decades. Someday the team will need to change its name. It just isn’t okay. There. Now we can climb off of our soapbox.